I’ve always felt I could never express myself in writing. The strict organization of the text, the formal distant tone, the lack of contact and interaction, the pressure of having to get the point across because you only have this “chance” and the horrible infuriating necessity of second guessing yourself are just some of the unpleasant characteristics that, for me, define writing.
I’m considering all types of writing: writing a text message, answering a text message, writing emails, etc. I especially hate writing on social media! It’s everything above but times five-hundred. Plus the overwhelming pressure of having to create written content that’s exciting, captivating, attention grabbing… And for me, it’s an even bigger nightmare writing on my personal profiles. How can I not second guess myself into oblivion while trying to figure out how to communicate with the thousand completely different friends I have there? Especially when seeing each other’s posts on social media is the most interaction we have!
You know, I don’t really care about social media. I don’t update my photos, I don’t make stories and I don’t post anything, or when I do I don’t like to write anything. It’s not like I don’t want to share my life with you all! I do! And I do share when I’m with you! I talk about what’s been going on, what I’m excited about and what we have in common! When I’m with each and everyone of you I immerse myself in the conversation and give you my full attention. Talking with more than one person at a time is already hard, talking with more than one thousand? It’s impossible! Every single one of you is different from the others, so how the hell can I communicate with everyone at the same time while being true to myself and to our relationship?
All of these questions and frustrations increased a lot in the past 4 years. Why?
Well, 4 years ago, after coming back from my Erasmus exchange to Finland, I met Komuhn, a team that specializes in collaboration, openness and sharedness. At the time, they were developing a project that interested me a lot – organizing a TEDx event – but what really got my attention was the way they were doing it. The whole process was open on a Facebook group and anyone could participate and get involved in the project! Needless to say I dove in head first and never turned back. Even though it has been 4 years I’ve been working this way, I still dread every time I have to write an update or make a proposal.
Since the beginning of this year I’ve started the process of joining Komuhn (one day I’ll tell you that story), and we are trying a new approach on communication. We intend to be more true to ourselves and connect with our community in a more personal and direct way. You can read more about it here: Outgrowing .
This new approach got me all excited, which is weird as hell, and I can’t wait to see what I could do if I if I would be able to write unrestrained. Just me talking to you like I would if I was there with you! That’s my number one favorite communication method. It’s real, genuine, and invites participation. And it’s effortless for me, unlike writing.
A wild inspiration appeared that made me jump out of bed and start to write this. It was strange, the words were just flowing out of my fingers. No awkward pauses, no unsureness, no second-guessing… I was just having a conversation with you. It felt good! For a bit. Then the inspiration wore off and those unpleasant characteristics came crawling back. But they were less? Or weaker? I don’t know.
Rereading this and tweaking it, doesn’t feel as hard. It made me realize that I hate writing, not for the act itself, but for the huge expectations I feel there are when one reads what I write. I hate it because I cannot connect with you the way I want to.
And I now understand that I hate hating writing even more than I hate writing!
So I’m going to explore writing and what I can do with it. I want to see how much I can unhate writing and maybe even one day love it. I can’t, and I don’t want to do it alone, so I’m inviting you to participate in this process with me.
It’s really simple; I’m coming up with a topic, and we’ll debate it in the comments.
Sounds good? Here it goes:
How can we transform the way we write so that it reflects better who we are?